0 Perspectives on Perception

What am I?
Human. I come in peace.
Sorry, I see.
Ethnically: black and Asian.
Black or Asian?
Both. Blasian.
Sorry, I guess I can only identify as one.

So, let me get this straight:

I should appreciate my skin color,
Since it’s preferred and valuable, like a prized pony.
But seriously, get tanner, get darker What do I think I am: light and entitled, better than my darker sistas?
Use powder, I look too dark.

Why don’t I straighten my hair more often?
My hair looks more beautiful and acceptable straightened.
With natural hair I look like Frederick Douglas, like orang Ambon, like a black ghetto woman.
Don’t straighten my hair, stop trying to conform to American beauty standards.
How dare I try to disregard my African roots?
Just cut my hair off. Be done with it.
Never cut my hair; it won’t grow back.

Can I speak with a black accent?
Mrs. Media says I should always be the sassy black woman in the group. I’m expected to be comedic relief.
Stop speaking with Ebonics and use correct standardized English, or I won’t be taken seriously.
You totally forgot I was black until just now.
I’d better get my frustration in check; my black side is showing.

Why don’t I grind when I dance?
Grind to prove I’m no prude, that I’m loose enough to be claimed.
Don’t grind for fear that I will be judged as being too easy.
Don’t dance alone or I’ll look lonely.
The allure of teasing the attraction is outdated, only instant gratification.

Who will I date?
Black or white? I see, those are the only two options given.
Who will I marry?
Indonesian or White? Heaven forbid any shades of darkness.
The beauty of diversity drags in the ugliness of prejudice.

No matter how much black history I study, and the similarities between my struggles and those of my sistas, my personal experiences are invalid.
I will never truly understand or connect to the struggles of the Fresno black community.
After all, I was raised in privileged Clovis, there are no minorities here, and everyone is wealthy.

These concepts should be obvious.
Thank you for your advice. I’ve learned a lot, some about myself, but mostly about you.
Please continue.
After all, I’m too young and naïve to understand otherwise.

--Abbygail W., 22