0 A Secret

She is alone in the dark
Clutching a grenade she can not see
Soon it will go off
She will die if she doesn’t throw it
But what will happen if she does?

The pain in her heart
Piercing like a thorn
She is so alone
Even though there are people all around her
No one is like her
The people she thinks she knows are strangers
How will she know who to trust?

So she simply won’t trust.
She will keep hiding in the dark
Lead by a fear that will lead to her own demise
A fear that many before her have overcome
But she can’t.
She can’t.

That place is her sanctuary
And it is her prison
The only way to leave
Is to condemn herself further.
So many questions swirl in her mind
She is choking on darkness and oppression
The only way out is with a few words
But they are words she will never say.
What if they open another prison?

We take words for granted when they come easily
But for her
And the many others like her
To say those few small words
To toss the grenade away
Is to trade one agony for another
Old wounds will fade and new ones will open
Is there any other way around this pain?

She doesn’t want to leave her poisonous fortress.
The layers of secrecy that envelope her feel so safe
Nobody else can see the battle burning inside her
She will never let them get close enough.

She hates this place
And yet
At the same time
She loves it.
She only has this one choice.
If she had others, she would never have taken up this fate.

--Avery W., 15