0 This Time

This time, she says excitedly, cutting cookie daisies out of dough.

I’m going to make you happy so you never want to go.

I’m going to bake you meatloaf, wash your jeans, and act just right.

I’ll help you with your homework. I’ll stay home every night.

This time I promise, the new me is going to last.

I’ll be the perfect momma that I wasn’t in the past.

I want to believe it’s real. Could she really change her ways?

But the jittery way she moves; it’s clear she has not slept for days…


…I didn’t mean to leave you. But I was just a kid.

Couldn’t understand why, you did the things you did.

When I grew older, I understood the pain.

The highs and the lows of your never sleeping brain.

Now I don’t worry. I know you’re everywhere with me.

I smell you in the gardenias; I feel you in the breeze.

One day we’ll meet again. I will hug you tight and say…

I love you Deborah Brubeck…This time I won’t go away.

--Tiffany B., 38