0 I Am Antonio

I am Antonio! LOST in the space which is between my heart, and my church TRAPPED and DISTRAUGHT, between being a man of the llano to be free without worry and restriction and between the CONFINES of the church the PRISON which is god and the FORGIVENESS of the mother I FEEL TWISTED AND BATTERED I must reach inside my soul and grasp my inner feelings in order to create a life of unprejudiced freedom to live But I am told by the CONSTANT VOICE IN MY HEAD, I must choose between the blood of my people and be torn, anew either Marez or Luna. BETWEEN the Freedom of my people, and a greater understanding of the earth and the open arms of the llano into the empty solitude of freedom or Be APART of the Men of the moon, and become a man of academics to till the earth to render from its tight grasp the objects of life I cannot overcome this conflict My soul feels lost and adrift inside a hollowed body torn asunder by a conflict formed at the time of my birth BUT I AM ANTONIO And my soul is mine, This earthly body mine to command and in the NAME OF MY PARENTS and my forefathers and mothers I will persevere by the name of the holy spirit and the spirit of the llano and my precious river I shall overcome this great conflict within me For I am the child of God and Offspring of the mighty llano I AM UNSTOPPABLE I AM the Embodiment of the llano I AM it’s raging storms and powerful Blizzards I AM the object of the holy spirit A man of learning to till this earth and harvest my god’s good will And I AM the epitome of the llano I am the roving tumbleweed never to be in the same spot always moving forward I WILL push through make my way through judgemental faces to lead this new civilization of peace and prosperity, of freedom and liberty, of tradition and order, To command and conquer To rule this country and to serve it for a greater good of man, As my forefathers have before me, For I am Antonio! My blood flows deep within me, Mixing and churning at beat of my heart, Marez y Luna become one. The blood of the sea, and the blood of the river, Mix to create the sweet waters of hybridity, For I am Antonio! Of the Blood of two great Families AND, I SHALL LIVE, AND LIVE I SHALL!   (This poem is a response to a class assignment which asked us to write a poem in the style of "Yo Soy Joaquin" but applied to the content of Bless me, Ultima, by Rudolfo Anaya.)   --Tristan D., 13